How To Prepare For Great Anal Sex

The main reason why women dislike or even hate anal sex is because they didn’t properly prepare for it. If your man suggests it one night and neither of you fully understand how to make it easy, pleasurable and fun then both of you are going to be in for one lousy time!

But once you understand how to properly prepare for anal sex, you’re going to find it a very pleasurable experience. So follow this advice and get ready to have some fun…

• Why Anal Sex & Regular Vaginal Sex Are So Different

The simple and very obvious reason is because your man is going to be stimulating your vagina during regular sex and your anus & rectum during anal sex. But how come some women adore anal sex and some women absolutely hate it? Why the big difference?

It all comes down to one simple muscle, your anal sphincter.

I know it sounds funny, but I’m totally serious!

This muscle is completely different to any muscle you will find in your vagina. The interesting thing about it is that it’s in a constant state of contraction. So it’s tense & tight all the time. Unlike many other muscles in your body, getting your anal sphincter muscle to relax can take a while, usually a few minutes.

Many guys don’t understand this. They think a little bit of lube will ‘do the trick’ and make everything easy and enjoyable for you. This isn’t the case (and you should let you man know this!). As well as using lubricant, you also need to give your sphincter time to fully relax. If you want to learn more about this interesting muscle, then check out the Wikipedia article on it here.

• The Relaxation Period

So now that you know about your sphincter, it’s time to learn how to get it to fully relax, so that your man can enter you easily and pleasurably. This is vital when learning how to prepare for anal sex properly. In order to do this, you need to allow it to slowly loosen up. You can’t rush things as it simply can’t rapidly relax. Additionally, it won’t loosen up unless you stick something up there.

Another thing to bear in mind is that if you are tense or very nervous, it’s going to take longer for it to relax. This is why I always advise that you first learn how to relax your sphincter alone before trying it with your man when preparing for anal sex. That way there is much less pressure the first few times you try it.

Now that you know about this interesting muscle, you’re probably wondering what techniques to use to get it to relax and loosen up, try these…

• Start Very Small

The best way to start preparing for anal sex is by loosening up your sphincter with something very small. I advise using one single finger. First grab a small amount of lube and cover your finger with it. Then rub some on your anus. Then get on your knees and lean forward so that your chest is lying on your bed. This is the best position to be in to help your sphincter to relax. You’re going to be in a similar position to the turtle position.

Quick note: It’s much easier to put your hand behind your back when penetrating your anus, inside of in front of yourself.

Then cautiously start pushing your finger into your anus. Like I explain on the main page about having anal sex, you’ll immediately notice how tight it is. After you get a little bit inside, stop and hold your finger there for a full minute. You’ll notice that towards the end of that minute, it won’t feel as tight anymore. Then gently pull your finger out, rest for a minute or 2 and then push it in again, this time try to go a bit deeper.

As you do, you may feel like you hit another layer of resistance. This is the other side of the sphincter muscle. It’s about 0.5-1 inch deep. As you push through it, go very gently and slowly as this is the area that has the most potential for pain. Then once your push through this last part of the sphincter, hold your finger there for another full minute before slowly pulling it out.

Then do it again. And again. Up to 10 times total. And make sure to pay attention to how your sphincter starts to loosen up. It’s simple, but it’s just the start. Here’s 3 pointers to keep in mind when learning how to prepare for anal sex:

•     Make sure to trim your fingernails first!

•     If you are wondering how much lube to use during this entire exercise, follow this simple rule: “It’s better to have too much lube, rather than too little”

•     Feel free to masturbate while doing it (P.S. You’ll find some excellent masturbation techniques here, here & here)

Now let’s keeping moving forward with your anal sex preparation…

Once you find that you can easily slip one finger up there, then it’s time to try 2 fingers using the same guidelines that I described above. Remember to go slowly and make sure that you stop if you feel like it’s too uncomfortable.

At this stage you may feel ready, but I always advise that too much preparation is a good thing. So if you feel that you’re like you’re almost ready, but need more preparation, then you should read this additional guide and these great positions for anal sex . But if you want more advice on preparing yourself for anal sex, keep reading…

• The Magic Of Butt Plugs

You’ll quickly find that fingering your anus is quite awkward if you want to do it for a sustained period of time. An easier way to get your anus loosened up is to use a butt plug. They come in all shapes and sizes, which means that they have very thin ones for beginners as well as much larger ones if you enjoy the sensation of being really stretched. So you can start with a small one and then keep ‘upgrading’ to bigger ones as you find it more comfortable. You can even purchase trainer kits which come with a selection of butt plugs of different sizes.

Once you put the butt plug inside you, it’s shaped so it will just sit there, meaning that you don’t have to do anything to keep it in place. So you can go about your daily life as if it’s not there all…if you are feeling particularly kinky!

• Dildos

If you want to go one step further in your anal sex preparation, then you should consider using a dildo that’s similar in size to your man’s penis. Just like with the butt plugs, you’ll notice how you’re very tight when you first penetrate yourself with it, but that you start to loosen up after a while.

Start with very slow, shallow strokes and as you get more and more comfortable, start to penetrate yourself a little deeper and faster. Again, pay close attention so that you don’t accidentally hurt yourself.

Now you know exactly what your man is going to feel like!

Important: If you do use a dildo in your anal preparation, make sure to wash it thoroughly afterwards before using it in your vagina.

• Make Sure You Talk To Your Man

You can do all this anal sex preparation perfectly, but it will be totally worthless if you don’t actually communicate to your man what you need and what feels best (as well as what feels painful).

So before you start having anal sex, make sure you talk to him and let him know that

•     You need to allow your anus/anal sphincter to loosen up, and this takes time.

•     You need to be in total control at the start because it’s very painful if he penetrates you without your sphincter being relaxed enough.

This is vital if you want anal sex to be pleasurable. Start on your hands and knees, with your man behind you on his knees like in the picture below.

Start Off In This Position, But Make Sure Your Man Knows That You Need To Be In Control

It’s a good idea to have been playing around with your fingers and even a butt plug for a while before your man enters you so that you are already loosened up and reasonably relaxed. Also make sure that you have already applied plenty of lube to yourself as well as to your man’s penis. Then it’s time to put the preparation aside and start actually having anal sex.

To start, your man needs to stay very still, while you back yourself up onto him. This way, you have control over how deep you take him as well as how slow you go.

Something Interesting Our Readers Discovered - Like when using a butt plug, you should try starting in the turtle position (tasteful demonstration here). For some reason this position makes it much, much easier to take your man at the start. I’m not a physiotherapist or scientist, but the turtle position somehow allows your anal sphincter to relax much more easily than most other positions.

For additional information and guidance on having anal sex with your man, you should take a look at these extra anal sex tips that will quickly get you up to speed. Additionally, if you want to see actual demonstrations of the best positions for anal sex, then check out this list here.

• How To Keep It Squeaky Clean

A major issue many have when it comes to having anal sex and preparing for it is…

The fear that it will be dirty.

Let me be honest, it certainly can get a bit dirty

But…
It will only be dirty if you don’t prepare properly. So avoid eating or drinking anything that will loosen up your stool for 2 days before you have anal sex with your man. This means avoiding things like caffeine, beans or any food that has too much fibre. Also make sure to go to the loo about 30 minutes beforehand. This is usually enough to prepare yourself properly for anal sex

But, if you want to go one step further, you might consider giving yourself an enema or even going for a colonic beforehand.

• Help! It Still Hurts!

Often, even after all this preparation, you may still find it a little painful. It’s a pretty common complaint and it totally normal. The important thing is figuring out what’s causing the pain. It could be that you are feeling nervous and as a result are tighter than you want to be. Or maybe you are not using enough lube. Or maybe your man happens to be particularly well hung.

As always, my advice is to talk to your man so that he understands how you’re feeling and so that you are both on the same page and he can help to make it a more comfortable experience.


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